IF "COPS" WROTE STAR TREK: VOYAGER
by John Thompson
"Redshirts Redshirts watcha gonna do? Watcha gonna do wen dey come for you?"
Tuvok: "It is a messy job sometimes, keeping order on a ship full of humans seventy thousand light years from home, but someones got to do it."
Tuvok: "This is the worst call you can get." Knocks on door "Security, open up!"
Paris: "Good you're here, I want you to throw this crazy Klingon BLEEP in the brig!"
Torres: "BLEEP you! You low life piece of BLEEP. I aint going to the BLEEPing brig!"
Tuvok: "What started this?"
Paris: "I was five minutes late getting home. When I walk through the door this crazy BLEEP starts screaming and saying I'm BLEEPing one of the Delaney sisters."
Torres: "YOU ARE BLEEPing her!"
Paris: "I was five minutes late."
Torres: "That's enough time for you to BLEEP her twice."
Paris: "HEY! You never complained before."
Tuvok: "I see only one solution to this. Transporter room," Pulls phaser and stuns both Paris and Torres. "Beam to holding cells one and two. When they wake up they will feel better."
Tuvok: "This happens a lot around this part of the ship." Walks into cargo bay. "Where is he, Seven?"
Seven: "Over there behind those crates."
Tuvok: "Ensign Kim, show yourself."
Harry stands and pulls his pants up
Tuvok. "Why do you keep doing this Ensign?"
Kim: "I can't help myself, I love her."
Seven: "I love you too Harry. If you would ask me out I would go."
Kim: "You would?"
Tuvok: "Some days are like this, a little bad, and a little good. I take it one day at a time.