Can you imagine asking out someone that you’ve just met at the bar? It’s an awkward and harrowing experience, especially if you’re not much of an extrovert.

“What if he/she says no? Omg, it will be so embarrassing! How do people do it?”

Well, luckily for you, today we will provide you with the road map. Here are seven clever ways to ask someone out on a date without looking desperate and needy:

1.      Make Sure They Sense the Vibe

Make eye contact for at least three seconds so that they know you’re interested. But don’t stare like a creep.

Your body language and attitude can speak volumes. Girls, tilt your head sideways and gently move your hair to one side, exposing your neck. That gives a subtle message that you’re interested. Trust us, it works every time.

Boys, slightly biting or licking your lips can be a great way to send flirty vibes. You can try stroking your hair casually as well. Girls dig it.

Oh, and always make sure that you’re turned towards them when you talk, look into their eyes and smile a little. Make them feel as though you’re absolutely smitten by them. 

2.      Use Clever Lines, Not Lame Jokes

Small talk will get you nowhere. It gets boring after a while. Break the ice by using clever and flirty openers. Resist the temptation to ask “so, what do you do?” when you meet someone.

Instead, be playful and witty. A fun conversation will keep the person interested in you. Here’s what you can do:

  • Ask them for advice. For example, “Where do you suggest is a good place to have pizza?”
  • Be quirky. Don’t be a plain Jane.
  • Be thoughtful. Hold the door open for her if you meet outside a café or a bar.

Most importantly, strike a conversation first so that they feel you’re interested in them. 

 3.      Have a Conversation Before You Actually Ask Them Out

Just because someone is attractive, you can’t ask them on a date straight away. Get to know them first. Find mutual interests so that you know there’s a chance of it working.

This way, you can find your “hook.” By that, we mean, if someone likes pasta, you can simply say “I know this amazing Italian place, wanna go?” This way, it’s casual and doesn’t require extra effort.

Find mutual interests and decide what kind of vibe you’re looking for? It can be silly, adventurous or wild, depending on the mood. 

4.      Never Pretend Like You’re Asking Them Out “On a Dare”

You are not 13 anymore. So don’t humiliate yourself by saying “my friends dared me to get your number.” Believe me, nothing’s less attractive than a person who cannot be honest and take charge of a situation.

Be upfront and tell a person you’re interested in them and would love to get to know them. Don’t hide behind lies just because you’re scared of rejection.  

5.      Please Don’t Ask ‘Will You Go On a Date With Me?”

Avoid the word ‘date.’ Get to know what they like to do and simply make a plan.

Directness goes a long way. Don’t beat around the bush. Either it works or it doesn’t. At least you know you didn’t waste your time contemplating “what if.”

Try not to ask questions that may lead to vague answers. Don’t ask what plans they have for the weekend. Be specific. Ask if they would want to go watch a movie and grab dinner afterwards.

Be flexible in choosing a date, time, or place. Don’t be a pushover. Be as accommodating as possible. 

6.      Impromptu Dates Are the Best

Go out when the connection is still hot. Don’t wait too long to make your move. If you ask someone out two weeks after you’ve met them, it probably won’t work. So, make impromptu plans.

First dates should be simple and easy, definitely something low investment. Dinner is good for second dates. After all, it’s uncomfortable to have a proper conversation with all the chewing.

You can grab drinks, coffee, or even try out an activity that you both like. Make sure to give them a few options to choose from. Never ask “what would you like to do?” Always come up with ideas and ask if they’d be interested in going with you. 

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7.      Be Casual and Chill

Don’t look desperate or creepy. Just be casual and keep it real. You can also add humor so that you look like a smooth talker.

Now, you might think it’s easier said than done but honestly, it requires very little effort. You can simply tease a little or play on words. Just don’t make it look rehearsed or forced.

The idea here is to be fun and cheeky to keep the conversation light and effortless. Stop thinking about what you’ll say next. Be a good listener and let your reflexes kick in. 

Pro-tips: Don’t memorize one-liners or other jokes in an attempt to make them laugh. Be natural!


The best way to get someone to go out with you is to make them feel comfortable. When you ask someone out, they instantly feel flattered but shy at the same time.

So, the idea is to not put them on the spot or make them feel obligated. Make sure that they know there’s no hard feelings if their response is a ‘no.’

Every person you meet and ask out brings you one step closer to getting a ‘yes’ from the right person. So, the more you nurture your skills, the more prepared you’ll be for the actual playoff!



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