Divorce is a ready answer when someone falls out of love in a marriage. Most feel there is no coming back when the feelings are gone. Duration of the union is irrelevant when emotions escalate to that point with no type of intervention. Typically, one or the other isn’t aware there’s even a problem until the partner with the problem abruptly announces their desire for a divorce.
For the partner caught unaware, the shock, hurt, and feelings of betrayal supersede any planning that needs to go into negotiating a divorce settlement or try to block the other’s attempts to figure out how to get an uncontested divorce in Oklahoma. The person asking to go has been ready for an exceptionally long time and wants it over with, the sooner the better, without any hassles or arguments. You’re not so sure.
Recognizing The Signs When Someone In The Marriage Loses Their Feelings
Marriage is not always as easy as what it appears when it first starts out. Once you go beyond the honeymoon phase, reality sets in rather quickly. Most partners who have experienced long-term situations recognize that daily stresses can greatly, negatively impact the relationship if you allow them to.
There can also be an eventual feeling of being suffocated in a rut of “boring routine” that ultimately affects the feelings one may have for the other. Unfortunately, it doesn’t generally affect both equally or at the same time.
Usually one partner is left blissfully unaware that there are problems or that their partner is reaching the severity of potentially leaving the relationship. Communication is so important among partners, but more so in a committed, serious union such as a marriage.
The fact that one of the partners is capable of falling out of love and has reconciled with the idea of divorce and moving on from the other person without the other partner even recognizing the unhappiness speaks volumes to the fact that someone was not expressing their needs, ultimately resulting in the demise of the marriage.
That doesn’t place the fault in any one person’s court, there had to be signs showing a problem that were missed by both people, although neither should need to play detective. It’s important that both people involved play an active part in maintaining a healthy commitment including communicating. That just doesn’t always happen. So what factors should you watch for when there’s minimal interaction? Follow for signs your marriage might be over.
- Your partner is absent : One sign most prominent when one partner has lost feelings is their disappearing regularly, whether they come home late from work or start spending gradual periods of time away from home.
In most situations pressure with work deadlines are the excuse causing late work hours, some opt for a new fitness regimen at the gym, but the common denominator is each person is attempting to hide from having to face the other person knowing they might have to deal with the problem for which they aren’t ready yet.
- There is an apparent disinterest : When sharing day-to-day happenings with your significant other, there is an obvious disinterest on their part. If the person returns from their day at work and doesn’t ask how your day went, that should make you curious.
If there were a time that the other person was genuinely interested in the things that you were actively taking part in, but now changes the subject when you attempt to discuss the hobbies or interests you partake in on a daily basis or you feel they don’t engage with you in any way, this is a legitimate sign of lost emotions.
- When intimacy has gone : If you notice a gradual shift in intimacy or the way the two of you interact physically, perhaps your partner has become distant, there may be a loss of attraction due to diminished feelings.
This isn’t always the case in these circumstances. Sexual dysfunction can be the result of a multitude of circumstances including health conditions for which the other person might have difficulties communicating due to feeling self consciousness.
Approach the subject gently, not accusatory. There might be hope with the help of a medical provider and potentially counseling. If it is the result of disinterest in the relationship, this will come out and you can move on from that point.
- There are no verbal declarations of affection : If your partner was one to consistently declare their love for you but then reverted to merely indicating the standby, “me too,” after you say the words, it’s likely there is an issue developing. A good way to test the theory is to stop saying it at all. If the other person does too, you know you have a problem.
- Compliments come less frequently : This is difficult for many partners to accept. At the end of a relationship, someone who has lost their love for the other person will begin to criticize where they once would compliment, and do so relatively often. If they don’t criticize, they merely act indifferent.
It’s a significant sign and one easy to notice because generally a partner will show genuine appreciation for the other person, but in the deteriorating state of the marriage, you will now begin to hear complaints and perhaps even feel as though you’re being disrespected.
These situations often lead to hurt feelings, which are an unavoidable wake-up call that, even if this person doesn’t want to leave the relationship, you need to leave this person. No one should tolerate disrespect of any kind for any length of time. Whether or not that person has fallen out of love is their problem. You need to move on to bigger and better things. Divorce is not easy. Read reasons people find going through this life change so challenging at https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-top-five-reasons-why-_b_11047774 .
Divorce is not something any of us strive for when we choose to get married. We don’t anticipate one or both will fall out of love at any point, but it can happen. The most important thing is to always engage in positive communication from the very beginning and throughout the course of the marriage. Then when and if an end comes, you can discuss it like adults and move on amicably.