voyager-cops

IF “COPS” WROTE STAR TREK: VOYAGER
by John Thompson
Theme song
“Redshirts Redshirts watcha gonna do? Watcha gonna do wen dey come for you?”

Tuvok: “It is a messy job sometimes, keeping order on a ship full of humans seventy thousand light years from home, but someones got to do it.”

2230 HOURS
Domestic dispute

Tuvok: “This is the worst call you can get.” Knocks on door “Security, open up!”

Door opens

Paris: “Good you’re here, I want you to throw this crazy Klingon BLEEP in the brig!”

Torres: “BLEEP you! You low life piece of BLEEP. I aint going to the BLEEPing brig!”

Tuvok: “What started this?”

Paris: “I was five minutes late getting home. When I walk through the door this crazy BLEEP starts screaming and saying I’m BLEEPing one of the Delaney sisters.”

Torres: “YOU ARE BLEEPing her!”

Paris: “I was five minutes late.”

Torres: “That’s enough time for you to BLEEP her twice.”

Paris: “HEY! You never complained before.”

Tuvok: “I see only one solution to this. Transporter room,” Pulls phaser and stuns both Paris and Torres. “Beam to holding cells one and two. When they wake up they will feel better.”

2300 HOURS
Prowler

Tuvok: “This happens a lot around this part of the ship.” Walks into cargo bay. “Where is he, Seven?”

Seven: “Over there behind those crates.”

Tuvok: “Ensign Kim, show yourself.”

Harry stands and pulls his pants up

Tuvok. “Why do you keep doing this Ensign?”

Kim: “I can’t help myself, I love her.”

Seven: “I love you too Harry. If you would ask me out I would go.”

READ  qa'vak

Kim: “You would?”

Seven nods.

Tuvok: “Some days are like this, a little bad, and a little good. I take it one day at a time.

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